Thursday, May 26, 2011

Things I have learned about having wisdom teeth extracted

Well, that took longer than expected. Between the pain of the surgery and the fog of the drugs, I was very unable to even think about posting here. Here I am at last! Here, also, are some things I learned about having my wisdom teeth extracted. In the interest of not causing people to faint, I have detailed my battle wounds at the end of this post.

Once the Versed goes in, you go out.The Versed (the drug that knocks you out and causes short-term memory loss) is administered as soon as the IV needle is in the back of your hand. The needle they used was surprisingly thin compared to the IV needles of yesteryear. It did hurt, but I've felt much worse. As soon as it was in place, the pain immediately faded to a dull ache. The doctor injected the Versed into the IV tube and about five seconds later my head felt heavy and I was out.

Waking up during surgery isn't bad.
My greatest fear was waking up during surgery and not being able to speak or move. I woke up, but was still heavily drugged. I could move slowly and make noises. The doctor will numb you. You will be completely numb. At one point I felt a pinch, so I raised the hand that didn't have the IV and groaned. They immediately gave me another Novocaine shot and it handled it completely. I faded in and out of consciousness, but I was never afraid or in pain.

You will be high, but probably not YouTube-worthy high.
When they brought me out of the unconsciousness, I was extremely chatty. My mouth was stuffed with gauze and I felt heavy and a little dizzy. Half an hour later I was almost comatose. I had heard stories of people swearing nonstop, telling horrible lies, sobbing uncontrollably or babbling incoherently, but none of that happened.


Taking your painkillers while still numb is vital.
I heard from many people that I probably wouldn't need to take the Vicodin prescribed. I ended up taking it all. I was stupid and didn't take the first dose while I was still numb, so when the pain kicked in I could barely think straight. After that I took the Vicodin exactly as prescribed and the pain wasn't terrible after that.


Vicodin can make you nauseous, but it might not.
I had pudding and bottled smoothies ready beforehand, and I always made sure to have a 12-oz smoothie with protein powder, an entire cup of Greek yogurt with honey or an entire cup of pudding directly before taking the Vicodin. I never got nauseous. You must get something substantial in your stomach before taking your painkillers. I didn't want to eat anything just because the pain killed my appetite, but I forced myself and it helped greatly.

Have pudding, yogurt and smoothies beforehand.
Depending on your level of pain or how drugged you are, it's likely you will be very uncoordinated or unwilling to prepare food. Because my surgery was much more extensive than the doctor had originally said, I was in pain and drugged. It was much easier to throw some protein powder into a drink or some honey into my yogurt than have to cook something. Your body expends a great amount of energy to heal itself and it needs calories to do this. Even if you eat less, at least eat something.

You will learn to hate sweet things.
I can't look at yogurt now, or pudding. Smoothies make my skin crawl. I can only have small amounts of ice cream. Because most soft things are sweet, you'll be having a lot of them and you will quickly tire of them.

You will crave flavor.
I started drinking Swanson chicken broth straight. It's actually delicious. I wanted salty, savory, bitter and sour things. I wanted to eat every kind of meat, even loads of fish (I'm picky about my fish). I even wanted pickles, one of the foods on my list of horrible foods. Now that I'm eating more and more solid food, I suddenly like things I never liked before. I love pickles now. Every flavor is amazing.

You will discover many foods you can't eat.
If you can only have the softest of foods and liquids, you're going to discover a plethora of foods you can't have. Anything can be pureed, but there are obstacles you'll face. Ripe avocados are soft, but the fibers will wreak havoc on your wounds. The same goes for bananas and steamed, mashed carrots. Pureed chicken is gritty, even when mixed with broth or cream, and all those tiny particles will get in your wounds. Same with potatoes. Puree, add liquid and strain - that's the way to go.

If at all possible, have someone stay with you.
The two days after surgery, I had very few people around. I was in a lot of pain, very drugged up and weak from my drastically lowered appetite. I really needed help getting around the house and getting food, but since I knew everyone was out and about (and since I was not thinking clearly), I couldn't ask for help. I received a lot of help from my family in the evening, but I really needed someone during the day. Arrange for someone to be with you beforehand if you think you'll be laid up. You'll probably be crappy company, but they can bring a book.

Vicodin is serious business.
I've had prescribed painkillers before. Now I'm stunned when House pops 3 Vicodin at a time. Just one had me reeling. I experienced intense drowsiness (I was almost narcoleptic), dizziness, constant vertigo, slowed reaction time, loss of coordination and I hallucinated. Hallucinations are not listed as a side effect of Vicodin, but I watched my tissue box grow legs and start jumping away. I should have probably told my doctor about that. You cannot drive or go anywhere by yourself on Vicodin.

When you get back on solid foods, your stomach will hate you.
My stomach has been rebelling since I started eating solid food, and it's mostly because I'm eating too much of it too fast. Now that I can have flavors, my appetite has increased, so my body has been sending out frantic eat signals, even when I'm full. My stomach has decided to poo-poo my new lifestyle (literally), so I advise anyone getting their teeth out to introduce solids slowly if possible.

My surgery was much more intense than yours will be.
You will probably be laid up for a couple days at the most. You'll probably be on solid foods within the week. You'll probably be able to skip the Vicodin and just take some Tylenol or Motrin. I'm very sensitive to pain and my surgery was crazy intense. You'll be fine, trust me.

So there it is! My surgery, my travails, and my tips if you have to go through it.

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