Pineapples! They are the bane and boon of my existence. They're so juicy and sweet and they taste like sunshine, but the fibers tend to go all Hellraiser on my mouth.
Just as hard to open up as a pineapple. And by that I mean anyone can do it.
Canned pineapple does not bring me tears and suffering like fresh pineapple does, but the only "fresh" pineapple I'd had was from a grocery store fruit tray. I decided to carve up my own and see if there was really a difference.
Ingredients/supplies:
A whole pineapple
A big knife
A potato peeler
A note on choosing a ripe pineapple: yank at the center leaves. The pineapple that gives up one of these leaves with the least fuss is the ripest pineapple. I had to work the leaves of this one back and forth twice before they popped out. All the other pineapples had leaves that wouldn't budge no matter what.
Firstly, scrub your pineapple all over with warm water and a scrubby brush. Really scrub it. You can use the rind for pineapple water later.
Hello, beautiful.
Then cut off the green part a bit below the base and the bottom of the pineapple as well. The peel is super tough, so please be careful and make sure to keep your fingers out of the knife's way.
Decapitated!
De-butt-itated!
Set the pineapple upright and cut from the top to the bottom, removing the peel. Don't worry about leaving little brown spots. Just don't leave strips of peel on the fruit.
These cuts are much easier than the initial ones.
Once you've cut all the peel off, you'll see brown spots. Some of them will look like little craters and some of them are small spots surrounded by a dark ring of fruit. Use the scoop end of a potato peeler to remove all these spots, small and large. They're tough and unpleasant to bite into.
Large brown spots.
Small brown spots.
Spots successfully removed!
Now you can carve it up however you choose. I like to set the pineapple down on its side like the picture above and cut it crosswise, making pineapple circles. If you do this, you'll see the pineapple's core. It's super tough and nearly impossible to bite through, so it should be removed.
Pineapples taste like sunshine and look like a mini sun!
How I cut around the core.
A quart of pineapple.
Oh my god, you guys. You guys.
Fresh-cut pineapple - genuinely fresh-cut - is the only way to go. It was ridiculously juicy, super flavorful, and sweet like candy. I eat candy like a panda eats bamboo, so I do not say this lightly. Pineapple would have ousted watermellon as my favorite fruit if it weren't for those darn fibers that cut up my mou-
Oh, wait. Fresh-cut, ripe pineapple doesn't cut up my mouth. Sorry, watermellon. We had some good times, but nothing compares to the tastiness and joy that is fresh pineapple.
Happy fruit carving!
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