Things I have learned about having wisdom teeth extracted

Well, that took longer than expected. Between the pain of the surgery and the fog of the drugs, I was very unable to even think about posting here. Here I am at last! Here, also, are some things I learned about having my wisdom teeth extracted. In the interest of not causing people to faint, I have detailed my battle wounds at the end of this post.

Once the Versed goes in, you go out.The Versed (the drug that knocks you out and causes short-term memory loss) is administered as soon as the IV needle is in the back of your hand. The needle they used was surprisingly thin compared to the IV needles of yesteryear. It did hurt, but I've felt much worse. As soon as it was in place, the pain immediately faded to a dull ache. The doctor injected the Versed into the IV tube and about five seconds later my head felt heavy and I was out.

Waking up during surgery isn't bad.
My greatest fear was waking up during surgery and not being able to speak or move. I woke up, but was still heavily drugged. I could move slowly and make noises. The doctor will numb you. You will be completely numb. At one point I felt a pinch, so I raised the hand that didn't have the IV and groaned. They immediately gave me another Novocaine shot and it handled it completely. I faded in and out of consciousness, but I was never afraid or in pain.

You will be high, but probably not YouTube-worthy high.
When they brought me out of the unconsciousness, I was extremely chatty. My mouth was stuffed with gauze and I felt heavy and a little dizzy. Half an hour later I was almost comatose. I had heard stories of people swearing nonstop, telling horrible lies, sobbing uncontrollably or babbling incoherently, but none of that happened.


Taking your painkillers while still numb is vital.
I heard from many people that I probably wouldn't need to take the Vicodin prescribed. I ended up taking it all. I was stupid and didn't take the first dose while I was still numb, so when the pain kicked in I could barely think straight. After that I took the Vicodin exactly as prescribed and the pain wasn't terrible after that.


Vicodin can make you nauseous, but it might not.
I had pudding and bottled smoothies ready beforehand, and I always made sure to have a 12-oz smoothie with protein powder, an entire cup of Greek yogurt with honey or an entire cup of pudding directly before taking the Vicodin. I never got nauseous. You must get something substantial in your stomach before taking your painkillers. I didn't want to eat anything just because the pain killed my appetite, but I forced myself and it helped greatly.

Have pudding, yogurt and smoothies beforehand.
Depending on your level of pain or how drugged you are, it's likely you will be very uncoordinated or unwilling to prepare food. Because my surgery was much more extensive than the doctor had originally said, I was in pain and drugged. It was much easier to throw some protein powder into a drink or some honey into my yogurt than have to cook something. Your body expends a great amount of energy to heal itself and it needs calories to do this. Even if you eat less, at least eat something.

You will learn to hate sweet things.
I can't look at yogurt now, or pudding. Smoothies make my skin crawl. I can only have small amounts of ice cream. Because most soft things are sweet, you'll be having a lot of them and you will quickly tire of them.

You will crave flavor.
I started drinking Swanson chicken broth straight. It's actually delicious. I wanted salty, savory, bitter and sour things. I wanted to eat every kind of meat, even loads of fish (I'm picky about my fish). I even wanted pickles, one of the foods on my list of horrible foods. Now that I'm eating more and more solid food, I suddenly like things I never liked before. I love pickles now. Every flavor is amazing.

You will discover many foods you can't eat.
If you can only have the softest of foods and liquids, you're going to discover a plethora of foods you can't have. Anything can be pureed, but there are obstacles you'll face. Ripe avocados are soft, but the fibers will wreak havoc on your wounds. The same goes for bananas and steamed, mashed carrots. Pureed chicken is gritty, even when mixed with broth or cream, and all those tiny particles will get in your wounds. Same with potatoes. Puree, add liquid and strain - that's the way to go.

If at all possible, have someone stay with you.
The two days after surgery, I had very few people around. I was in a lot of pain, very drugged up and weak from my drastically lowered appetite. I really needed help getting around the house and getting food, but since I knew everyone was out and about (and since I was not thinking clearly), I couldn't ask for help. I received a lot of help from my family in the evening, but I really needed someone during the day. Arrange for someone to be with you beforehand if you think you'll be laid up. You'll probably be crappy company, but they can bring a book.

Vicodin is serious business.
I've had prescribed painkillers before. Now I'm stunned when House pops 3 Vicodin at a time. Just one had me reeling. I experienced intense drowsiness (I was almost narcoleptic), dizziness, constant vertigo, slowed reaction time, loss of coordination and I hallucinated. Hallucinations are not listed as a side effect of Vicodin, but I watched my tissue box grow legs and start jumping away. I should have probably told my doctor about that. You cannot drive or go anywhere by yourself on Vicodin.

When you get back on solid foods, your stomach will hate you.
My stomach has been rebelling since I started eating solid food, and it's mostly because I'm eating too much of it too fast. Now that I can have flavors, my appetite has increased, so my body has been sending out frantic eat signals, even when I'm full. My stomach has decided to poo-poo my new lifestyle (literally), so I advise anyone getting their teeth out to introduce solids slowly if possible.

My surgery was much more intense than yours will be.
You will probably be laid up for a couple days at the most. You'll probably be on solid foods within the week. You'll probably be able to skip the Vicodin and just take some Tylenol or Motrin. I'm very sensitive to pain and my surgery was crazy intense. You'll be fine, trust me.

So there it is! My surgery, my travails, and my tips if you have to go through it.

Wisdom Teeth

I had my wisdom teeth out today. While everything is still fresh in my mind, I'd like to recount the experience in the hopes that anyone who needs to get theirs out will find some comfort.

The appointment was at 10 AM this morning. We (my dearest and I) had to wait until 10:45, which did nothing to improve my nerves. Also not helping was the giant TV screen showing computer animations of all the horrible things that can happen to you when you lose teeth and don't get bridges or implants.

I'd had a consultation back in February with the dentist. I found him to be very A to B, communicative and nice. Nothing had changed since then and he was very willing to answer my nervous questions as I was prepped for the extractions.

I had one soft tissue impaction (the tooth was under the gum) and three partial bony impactions (the tooth was partly under the bone). I didn't have any pain, but the teeth needed to come out because I didn't have enough room in my mouth for them. I would get stitches on the lower two, but not on the upper two. The dentist would be cutting into the muscle of my lower jaw, so I'd have limited movement of my jaw. The stitches were the dissolvable kind.

I would be going partially under for the procedure with the drugs Sentinol and Versed. I would also have nitrous oxide. The Sentinol and Versed were administered through an IV. I was informed that the Versed would not only help to put me under faster, but it would also cause short-term memory loss, so I wouldn't remember the procedure.

The needle going in was painful, but not at all unbearable. With deep breaths I was able to be pretty calm about it (also squeezing dearest's hand). The Versed was injected immediately and in about five seconds the room swam and I had to put my head back. Dearest left the room and I got the Sentinol, which really had me spinning. The nitrous oxide mask went on and everything was just really drowsy and serene.

Contrary to what the Versed was supposed to do, I remember the procedure, but that's not a bad thing. I was numbed to the gills - my entire mouth, throat, tongue and even the outside of my cheeks, chin and lower lip. My mouth was stretched really far open, but thanks to the Novocaine it didn't hurt. The extraction was loud. Lots of grinding, crunching and a bit of sawing. At one point I felt a strong pinch on the lower left and managed to moan, "It hurts." I was immediately given more Novocaine. None of that, "it's almost over" or "just hang on" B.S. They really cared about pain management.

When they took the needle out of my hand (which was even less painful than when it went in) and took the nitrous oxide mask off, I came out of it. I've never been high, but I imagine that's what it felt like. They had me stay laying down for about five minutes, then helped me up. My mouth was full of gauze and was completely dry. Walking to the car was a bit of a challenge. My legs were wobbly and I felt very groggy. I was extremely out of it on the way home.

On the way home we picked up three perscriptions: amoxicillin (an antibiotic to stave off infection), ibuprofen (to keep swelling down and also for mild pain relief) and Vicodin (for agony relief). I changed the gauze, ate some pudding, and took the amoxicillin and the ibuprofen. The dental assistant told me to wait before I took the Vicodin because I might not need it.

An hour later I was in agony. I took the Vicodin and laid down, and about an hour later it kicked in. I still had mild pain, but it was bearable. The Vicodin made me drowsy and dizzy, but it didn't make me nauseous, which was a plus.

I've been eating yogurt, pudding and drinking Swanson chicken broth. It is so tasty. You can drink this broth right out of the carton - it is that good.

Because of how wide they have to stretch your mouth, the corners of your mouth can dry out and crack. As soon as I got home, I put lip balm on the corners and I've been keeping up with it every fifteen minutes. It seems to be doing the trick - no cracking, only some soreness.

So all in all it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be by far. I was a wreck waiting for today, but pretty much all of my fears were unfounded. No pain during the procedure, proper medication for pain management and a very nice staff and skilled dentist made this experience one of the least stressful in my life.

I got to keep two of my teeth. The others were all chopped up.

In summation:

• Have soft foods without particles or solid bits in them to hand: yogurt (without fruit chunks), pudding (not rice or tapioca), bottled or homemade smoothies and broth.
• Take your Vicodin before the Novocaine wears off. Keep up the ibuprofen and the antibiotic.
• Have someone around to bring you your food and meds.
• Use lip balm or vaseline to keep the corners of your mouth moisturized.

Word of Whenever: cuniculous

cuniculous adj.
full of rabbits

I encountered this in a forum signature. It's obsolete, but there are still opportunities to use it!

"Whoa, check out that cuniculous hutch!"

"This petting zoo is really cuniculous."

"I enjoy game meat, so I love a good, cuniculous stew."

Language - use it or lose it!

Meat Envy

I swear this post is not as dirty as the title makes it sound.

In an interest to cut down on my weekly grocery bill, I went looking for vegetarian recipes. I am an omnivore - I love me some meat. I was interested in finding all-vegetable dishes that weren't just pasta to round out my diet, save some money and get a bit healthier.

I was looking for recipes that had only vegetables. Quinoa shows up a lot in these recipes. Also lentils. I understand that getting enough protein in a meat-free diet is something to keep in mind, but I was a little disappointed. Something else kept popping up that was very interesting and I have decided to call it meat envy.

Meat envy is when a vegetarian meal tries to imitate meat. I've seen lentil burgers, "meatballs" made out of rice, fake bacon, fake chicken and the infamous tofurkey.

It's real.

Even PETA, the most vocal group about how meat is murder, has a recipe for vegan corndogs featured on their recipe page.

There are sites like Vegetarian Times and allrecipes that have great meatless meals and loads of them are without any faux-meats. Those kinds of recipes are what I'm looking for. Dishes that rejoice in the glory that is a beautiful combination of variegated colors and flavors, casting off any mention or hint of meat or meat substitute, and is delicious in its own veggieness.

I'll never be a vegetarian, and I have to admit it makes me snicker when I see meat envy. Come to the dark meat side and together we will rule the kitchen.

My kitchen armor, reposted because it is terribly wonderful.

What were you doing at 9?

A collection of videos that are awesome, yet make me feel totally inferior.

9-year-old girl in a hip-hop competition.



8-year-old boys krumping.



An even younger boy with some sweet moves.



And a baby.



I was a lame child.

Word of Whenever: apricity

apricity (obsolete)
the warmth of the sun in winter

This is my favorite word. It's obsolete, but I enjoy using it because it brings back wonderful memories. One of the schools I attended was set back in the hills. It was against school rules to leave the playground/basketball court, but we did it anyway. Because of the danger of rattlesnakes in the area, the only time we went tromping through the tall grass and thick brush was in winter, when the rattlesnakes were (hopefully) burrowed away and sleeping. With the school or any other modern landmark out of sight, surrounded by friends and breathing in the smell of earth and growing things, it was a treat to feel the heat of the sun as it broke through the clouds for a few moments. As the clouds swiftly moved in to cover the sun again, we were left with a warm tingle on our faces. There's nothing like enjoying a brief moment of apricity.

Lively illustrations

Thomas Allen is an artist who cuts out figures from illustrations and photographs them in a shallow depth of field, creating unique dioramas.

Check out the rest on Web Urbanist.

Neckties

As a woman, I will never have to wear a necktie. I'm kind of fascinated by them, though. It's a thing you tie around your neck and it just sort of sits there. It has no purpose, other than embellishment. But there are so many cool ties! Some of them are muted, with dark colors and little or no patterning to them. Some of them are in-your-face with loud colors or prints. And some of them are awesome.

Pi tie!

8-bit necktie

Wooden necktie

Samurai neckties

Cooking Adventure: Pineapple (part deux)

Well! Now that you've (presumably) cut up a pineapple and have finished your unwholesome feeding frenzy on its freshly-harvested flesh, what do you do with the bits you can't eat?

Delicious, delicious carnage.

You make pineapple water!

Ingredients:

The peel, core and bottom bit of a pineapple (not the crown)

A lemon or two

Sugar

Water

Firstly, throw all your pineapple bits into a bowl that can hold about a gallon of water. Bigger is better.

Scrap bucket or the beginning of something wondrous?

Chop up a lemon (or two) and throw the slices in the bucket, peel and all. I used a huge one that was probably the equivalent of two lemons, but in the future I would only use one normal-sized lemon.

Giant, mutant lemon.

Today's post is brought to you by the color yellow.

Add three tablespoons of sugar and dump in half a gallon of water. Stick it in the fridge and let it sit overnight.

In the morning, pour into a pitcher or jug or whatever you have. I had an empty water jug.

Yay!

Don't expect an explosion of fruity goodness. The flavor is light and it's mostly tart - the sugar only gets rid of the bitterness this drink would have. It's mostly lemon-flavored and it's refreshing.

Happy cooking!

Cooking Adventure: Pineapple

This isn't cooking, but I didn't want to add the category "Carving up awkwardly-shaped fruit Adventure".

Pineapples! They are the bane and boon of my existence. They're so juicy and sweet and they taste like sunshine, but the fibers tend to go all Hellraiser on my mouth.

Just as hard to open up as a pineapple. And by that I mean anyone can do it.

Canned pineapple does not bring me tears and suffering like fresh pineapple does, but the only "fresh" pineapple I'd had was from a grocery store fruit tray. I decided to carve up my own and see if there was really a difference.

Ingredients/supplies:

A whole pineapple

A big knife

A potato peeler

A note on choosing a ripe pineapple: yank at the center leaves. The pineapple that gives up one of these leaves with the least fuss is the ripest pineapple. I had to work the leaves of this one back and forth twice before they popped out. All the other pineapples had leaves that wouldn't budge no matter what.

Firstly, scrub your pineapple all over with warm water and a scrubby brush. Really scrub it. You can use the rind for pineapple water later.

Hello, beautiful.

Then cut off the green part a bit below the base and the bottom of the pineapple as well. The peel is super tough, so please be careful and make sure to keep your fingers out of the knife's way.

Decapitated!

De-butt-itated!

Set the pineapple upright and cut from the top to the bottom, removing the peel. Don't worry about leaving little brown spots. Just don't leave strips of peel on the fruit.

These cuts are much easier than the initial ones.

Once you've cut all the peel off, you'll see brown spots. Some of them will look like little craters and some of them are small spots surrounded by a dark ring of fruit. Use the scoop end of a potato peeler to remove all these spots, small and large. They're tough and unpleasant to bite into.

Large brown spots.

Small brown spots.

Spots successfully removed!

Now you can carve it up however you choose. I like to set the pineapple down on its side like the picture above and cut it crosswise, making pineapple circles. If you do this, you'll see the pineapple's core. It's super tough and nearly impossible to bite through, so it should be removed.

Pineapples taste like sunshine and look like a mini sun!

How I cut around the core.

A quart of pineapple.

Oh my god, you guys. You guys.

Fresh-cut pineapple - genuinely fresh-cut - is the only way to go. It was ridiculously juicy, super flavorful, and sweet like candy. I eat candy like a panda eats bamboo, so I do not say this lightly. Pineapple would have ousted watermellon as my favorite fruit if it weren't for those darn fibers that cut up my mou-

Oh, wait. Fresh-cut, ripe pineapple doesn't cut up my mouth. Sorry, watermellon. We had some good times, but nothing compares to the tastiness and joy that is fresh pineapple.

Happy fruit carving!

Artsy-Fartsy: You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

With cuppy action!

Zombie-proof house

You're watching videos of cats when you notice the sun going down. Nothing odd about that, but it's accompanied by low groans, many of them. A night in Minecraft? No. It's a zombie invasion and it's happening right now.

Fortunately, you have this.

Not afraid of the zombie apocalypse? Then bear this in mind: this house is also velociraptor proof.

Via Wired